Once we get past Hallowe’en we know it’s only a matter of time until we hear the opening bars of a Christmas song, and this means that Christmas is officially happening, whether you like it or not!
They are the songs we love to hate and while there are some classics out there, it’s also the time of year when, musically at least, anything goes, and good taste goes out the window.
Whether you’re the kind of person who has their decorations up by 1st December and goes full-on Christmas jumper with matching socks until the New Year, or are famous for channelling your inner Scrooge and shouting “Bah Humbug!” the minute you hear Noddy Holder’s dulcet tones, everyone has an opinion about the best Christmas songs; but what about the worst?
There’s been a bit of a debate here at The Insurance Emporium and it wasn’t an easy job because there are so many to choose from, but we’ve managed to narrow it down to ten.
1: Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
Poor Mariah, despite this song featuring high up on the Top 40 most streamed Christmas songs, she also ends up on every list of annoying Christmas songs. The Brussels sprout of Xmas songs, you either love it or hate it and chances are that by the time you read this, you’ll already have heard it at least a hundred times.
2: The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t be Late)
Nothing says Christmas like some tiny cartoon chipmunks singing in a high-pitched voice, right? It’s hard to think of any situation where the Chipmunks are appropriate, but that’s never stopped a Christmas song being a hit, as can be seen by the fact that it sold 12 million copies.
3: Mr Blobby – Christmas in Blobbyland
Mr Blobby had already been at number one in the UK charts for three weeks in 1993, with his eponymous hit, Mr Blobby, so he gave it another go two years later.
When you hear this song you could be forgiven for thinking that you’ve had too many Christmas snacks and are in the middle of a stilton-induced nightmare, but unfortunately it’s real, hitting the charts in 1995 and getting to number 36.
4: The Twelve Days of Christmas – Any version
This really is the Christmas song that keeps on giving. Originally composed in 1780, it didn’t become popular until the early 1900s. Since 1949 there have been 193 official versions and you can be forgiven for feeling like you’ve had to sit through every single one of them, every time you’ve ever heard it.
5: Jive Bunny and the Master Mixers – Let’s Party
This was in the Top 10 for four weeks in 1989, one of three number ones. If you haven’t heard it, just imagine a song that manages to fit all the worst bits of Christmas music into one record, but with a really annoying drumbeat. Like the sound of that? Then you’re in luck as they also released two whole Christmas albums, each with 40 songs on for you to enjoy.
6: Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas
On paper, this sounds like a great idea; getting a group of chart-topping musical legends together all on one song, but unfortunately it’s ended up with a reputation for being one of the cheesiest songs going.
Even Bob Geldof, who wrote the song, has been quoted as saying ‘I am responsible for one of the worst songs in history’. It did, however, spend 5 weeks at number one and raised £8 million for the famine relief effort in Ethiopia.
7: Wham – Last Christmas
This features the classic Christmas combo of cheesy Christmas jumpers and heartbreak. It didn’t make it to the much-coveted Christmas number one spot until 36 years after its release in 1984. It has since spawned the game Whamageddon, the aim of which is to go as long as possible without hearing the song. It has its own hashtag and everything!
8: Gayla Peevey – I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
Who says Christmas has to be about reindeer and the animals in the stable with the Baby Jesus? Why not let hippos have a go too? This song, originally released in 1953 when Gayla was only ten years old, has been covered by both Kacey Musgraves and LeAnn Rimes, and once you’ve heard it we guarantee you will be singing it for the rest of the day.
9: Cliff Richard – Mistletoe and Wine/Millennium Prayer
We’re not saying 1988 was a bad year for music, but Mistletoe and Wine was the best-selling UK single that year, staying at number one for four weeks. 11 years later he managed to get himself another Christmas number one, Millennium Prayer, a song that stayed at number one for three weeks, despite being so ‘uncool’ that radio stations refused to play it.
10: Crazy Frog – Last Christmas
This annoying little amphibian (we’re not being mean, Crazy Frog was originally known as The Annoying Thing) managed to hop into the charts in 2005 with his version of Jingle Bells, he then hit the charts again the following year with his version of Wham’s Last Christmas. Crazy Frog had four top 40 hits in all, one of them outselling Coldplay by over 113,000 copies!
It seems as though everyone has had a go at making a Christmas song, from The Wombles to Iggy Pop, so if you’re feeling inspired and fancy putting a Yuletide masterpiece together, ready to top the Christmas charts next year, you might want to think about insuring your musical equipment. The Insurance Emporium has a range of tweakable music insurance policies from £1.61* per lunar month, visit the website for more info, or for a free, no-strings quote and get a 25% introductory offer.
*This is based on Musical Equipment insured up for £100 with no Optional Benefits selected.
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