We’re heading towards December which, according to a 2023 National Wedding survey, is the most popular month to get engaged, unless you made the most of 2024 being a leap year and went for a leap year proposal! Whenever you decide to pop the question, once it’s been asked, you get to do the fun part – the planning.
You want to spend your special day with your special people, and you want the best people in your bridal party. Choosing your bridesmaids is one of the most important, and fun, parts of planning a wedding as they play an important role; supporting you through the planning and preparation, helping plan the hen night and of course supporting you on the actual day.
Chances are you already know who you want by your side, but how do you pop the question to your future bridesmaids? And how do you navigate the minefield of knowing who to ask, how many to ask, when to ask them, and what to do if they say no?
We love a good wedding, here at The Insurance Emporium, so we’re strapping our dancing shoes on, dusting off our big hats and filling our clutch bags with confetti as we look at how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid.
WHO SHOULD YOU ASK TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID?
Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a great honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility, so before you jump in and ask every friend you have there are a few things you need to consider:
- Who do you want to come to dress fittings with you?
- Who do you want in charge of your hen night?
- Who will help you stay calm and be on hand with a glass of fizz and a wedding day emergency kit when you’re stressed out on the morning of the big day?
- Who do you want to stand next to you at the wedding?
- Who has supported you over the years and is someone you turn to?
- What’s your budget? This can affect how many people you have.
There are no fixed rules when it comes to the wedding party and it can depend on your budget and the size of your wedding, for example, for bigger weddings people might choose a mix of family and friends, or a group of little ones with an adult maid of honour. Smaller weddings (take a look at our budget wedding ideas) might just have one bridesmaid, or none at all. You shouldn’t feel under pressure, which means you don’t have to ask someone just because you were their bridesmaid, or because someone else tells you to, or because they’re your future mother-in-law’s second cousin twice removed! You also don’t have to have the same number of attendants as your partner.
It’s also worth thinking about people’s commitments and finances in the run up to the wedding; someone who’s just had a baby, for example, or who’s just started university may not have the time or money to devote to your wedding. This isn’t something to rush into, once you ask someone you can’t really change your mind, so give it some thought.
WHEN SHOULD YOU ASK SOMEONE TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID?
This all depends on the timescale of your wedding, ideally 8 months to a year is a good time, but obviously if your timeline is shorter than that then you need to let them know as soon as possible. The excitement begins as soon as you ask them, so you might want to have a few ideas in your head about what you want; for example, what kind of hen night do you want, what will you want them to wear, is there a theme to the wedding? (Read our blog for some unique wedding ideas).
Once you’ve asked them then it’s a good idea to check in with them a few weeks later; being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility and they may be feeling apprehensive – nobody wants a bridezilla situation, and they might have questions and concerns.
Remember that if you’re having a few bridesmaids and you can’t ask them all together, then you need to ask them within a few days of each other; nobody wants to hear about it on social media and then feel like an afterthought.
FUN WAYS TO ASK SOMEONE TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID
- Surprise them by turning up on their doorstep with a bouquet of flowers or balloons with a note attached. Or write ‘Pop Me’ on a balloon and fill it with confetti with a secret note inside with the question on.
- Make a cake and write the question on it in icing, or make cookies each with a letter on them that spells out ‘Will you be my bridesmaid?’
- A photobook – you could make one up of photos of you together and a note on the last page asking them to be your bridesmaid.
- A custom-made scratch card that reveals the question underneath.
- Fortune cookies – invite them round for a Chinese meal and then produce some custom-made fortune cookies.
- A gift box – filled with treats such as a mini bottle of fizz, some chocolates, macarons, a candle and a handwritten note.
- Take them out for afternoon tea or brunch
- Use Instagram – choose a day and time to ask them online, and tell your friends to check their feeds once it goes live
- Get T-shirts made and present them each with one
- Plan a spa day if you have the budget for it, or you could do it at home, with face masks, manicures and prosecco.
WHAT IF THEY SAY NO?
Being a bridesmaid is a big commitment, and not everyone will be able to take on the role. You need to be understanding if they say they can’t do it and thank them for their honesty; it won’t have been an easy decision for them and the last thing you want is someone saying yes because they feel they have to, and then dreading your big day. Have a backup plan; you might already have someone else in mind or be happy with fewer bridesmaids.
Your wedding will be one of the most important, and memorable, days of your life, so it’s important that you have the right people beside you on your big day to help take the strain of some of the stresses of the day, for example, to go to all those dress fittings with you, or to help you work out the right questions to ask your wedding venue.
Another way to take some of the stress away is to consider wedding insurance. Depending on the policy you choose, insurance can cover whole range of unexpected hitches; from cancellations to supplier issues, accidents to damaged photographs, insurance can give you the peace of mind of knowing we’ve got you covered, leaving you free to enjoy all the good bits of planning a wedding. Visit our website today and get a free, no-strings quote that will suit both you and your budget.
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